For clarity... I am anti-modern feminism. I believe it disproportionately harms women and children. I think it’s a total dumpster fire. 🔥
Modern feminism has largely become a movement that encourages women to reject family, resent men, and prioritize personal ambition over the very things that bring deep fulfillment and purpose. It has convinced women that embracing their natural design is oppressive rather than a gift. It has removed the beauty of complementarian relationships and replaced it with a competitive, self-focused ideology.
That being said, in the attempt to distance ourselves from this unfortunate madness, the trad community has gotten a few things wrong—things that, in my humble opinion, also disproportionately hurt women in a different way.
Note: I realize that everyone in the community feels this way, but unfortunately, some are teaching these things, and we have to be able to admit when we get things wrong.
1. Women Are Only Meant to Be Wives and Mothers
This is not only untrue—it’s not even biblical.
Marriage and motherhood are beautiful, and they are high callings for many women. But they are not the sole identity of a woman. God has given women individual callings, spiritual gifts, and work to do in the world that extends beyond family life, and or adds to it.
Look at the women in the Bible who lived with deep purpose outside of just being wives and mothers:
Deborah – A judge and prophetess who led Israel.
Lydia – A successful businesswoman who supported the early church.
Priscilla – A teacher and missionary who worked alongside her husband in ministry.
A woman’s identity is in Christ, not in a role. Some women are called to marriage, some to singleness, some to motherhood, and some to ministry and business. All are called to glorify God in whatever role they walk in.
2. That Women Can Only Experience Real Love by Having Children
It’s a heartbreaking belief that some women have been led to feel less than or as though they are missing something essential if they are unable to have children or even choose not to for their own personal reasons.
Here’s the truth: real unconditional love is only found in Jesus, not in another person.
Marriage and motherhood are expressions of love, but they are not the source of love. If that were the case, then women who never marry or never have children would be destined for a life without love—and that is not what God says.
"We love because He first loved us." – 1 John 4:19
Jesus is the definition of love. Whether you are single, married, with children, or without, your life is just as full of purpose, value, and love as anyone else’s.
3. That Femininity Has to Look One Particular Way
Femininity is not a one-size-fits-all aesthetic. It’s not just wearing flowy dresses, baking sourdough, and decorating a cozy home (though if you love those things, amazing!).
True biblical femininity is about:
🌿 Wisdom – "She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue." (Proverbs 31:26)🌿 Strength – "She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come." (Proverbs 31:25)🌿 Creativity – "She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard." (Proverbs 31:16)🌿 Compassion – "She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy." (Proverbs 31:20)
God made women beautifully diverse in personality, skills, and callings. Some women are quiet and gentle, while others are bold and fearless. Both are biblical.
Femininity isn’t about fitting into a mold—it’s about walking in the unique way God created you.
4. That Traditional Womanhood Means Never Being Bold, Never Setting Boundaries, and Never Harnessing the Unique Power of Femininity
There is an unfortunate belief that biblical femininity means silence, passivity, and never asserting oneself—but that’s not what Scripture teaches.
Women in the Bible were bold when needed. They walked in wisdom, discernment, and strength. They didn’t shrink back from hard situations:
🔥 Esther risked her life to save her people.
🔥 Jael literally took down an enemy general.
🔥 Mary Magdalene was the first to proclaim the resurrected Christ.
Setting boundaries and standing firm in truth is not unbiblical—it’s necessary.
A woman can be soft and kind while also standing firm in what is right, just, and godly. Femininity is not about weakness; it’s about strength wrapped in grace.
5. That Submission Means a Woman Has No Agency or Discernment
Submission has been deeply misunderstood, and often misused, in traditional spaces.
Biblical submission is not blind obedience.
It does not mean:
🚫 Enduring abuse
🚫 Suppressing your voice
🚫 Following a man into sin
True biblical submission is about trusting and honoring God’s order for marriage—where husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25) and women are called to respect and support their husbands.
This means:
✅ Mutual love and respect
✅ Wisdom and discernment
✅ A partnership built on biblical truth
A wise woman builds her home, not by blind obedience, but by walking in wisdom, prayer, and discernment alongside her husband.
Modern feminism claims to "empower" women, but the stats tell a different story. Anxiety, depression, adrenal burnout, autoimmune diseases, and chronic illness are skyrocketing among women. The push for constant productivity, self-reliance, and detachment from our natural design has left many women overworked, disconnected from their bodies, and running on empty. We were not created to live in a perpetual state of stress, competition, and exhaustion—yet modern feminism glorifies this as success.
At the same time, swinging to the opposite extreme—where women are taught that their only worth is in homemaking, where they suppress their voices, ignore their own needs, and sacrifice their well-being in the name of “traditional womanhood”—also leads to stress-related illness, emotional burnout, and unhealed trauma. Living outside of God’s true design for femininity in either direction can result in hormonal imbalance, nervous system dysregulation, and chronic health issues.
True biblical femininity allows women to live in alignment with how God created us—to thrive in health, purpose, and peace rather than being pushed to burnout by a world that either demands too much or suppresses too much.
Femininity Is Not a Weakness to Overcome—It’s a Power to Harness for Good
Femininity is not a curse, a flaw, or something to suppress. It is a beautiful, God-given gift that allows women to:
💛 Nurture life (whether physically, emotionally, or spiritually)
💛 Speak wisdom and be a voice for truth
💛 Stand in strength and dignity
💛 Embody grace and resilience
God made women with intention.
You don’t have to be modern feminist or extreme trad—you can simply be a woman who follows God’s design for her life, in all the unique ways He has called you to. The truth will set you FREE.
"She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come." – Proverbs 31:25
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