Resilience, Healing, Victimhood, and Trauma: Finding Wholeness in Faith

Life has a way of leaving marks on us. Some of those marks heal into scars that remind us of where we’ve been, and others harden into callouses that keep us from truly feeling life. I know this firsthand. My journey has been shaped by deep valleys of suffering—medical trauma that started when I was three, enduring excruciating endometriosis symptoms from the age of 12, watching people jump from Tower 2 on live television, being gaslit by doctors until my lung collapsed at 19, surviving an abusive relationship, battling anxiety so intense it stole my breath, enduring chronic pain so severe I couldn’t speak, and the unthinkable grief of losing my only sibling.

And yet, my story is not unique. Pain and brokenness touch us all in different ways. I am well aware that my experiences barely scratch the surface of what other people have endured. I had a loving safe childhood with a supportive family. This alone is a privilege that I am very much aware of. This world is fractured by sin—sin in high places, sin passed down through generations. But God is not the author of this brokenness. His original design was for perfect intimacy with Him in a world without suffering. And though we live in the in-between, He has promised to restore all things. Until then, we navigate the tension of trauma, resilience, healing, and the ever-present temptation of victimhood.

The Pitfalls of Trauma and Victimhood

Trauma is real. It changes the brain, affects the nervous system, and shifts how we experience the world. But there’s a fine line between acknowledging pain and allowing it to become our identity. It’s easy to fall into the cycle of victimhood—where suffering becomes our defining narrative. We see it in people who constantly relive their pain online, obsess over their wounds, and refuse to step into healing. This is not the same as seeking support or sharing our struggles in community. One fosters healing; the other keeps us trapped.

Victimhood tells us, This is who I am. I will never be more than my pain. But in the Kingdom of God, something radical happens. When we become children of God, we step into a realm where the craziest, most broken parts of our story can be healed, restored, and redeemed. We are not meant to be prisoners to our past. We are meant to be overcomers.

The Truth About Resilience

Resilience is often praised as a virtue, but what kind of resilience are we talking about? The world sees it as toughness—gritting our teeth and moving forward no matter what. And yes, survival is important. But scars can either be signs of healing or evidence of walls we’ve built to protect ourselves. What the world calls ‘resilience’ can sometimes just be callouses that prevent us from truly living.

But biblical resilience is different. It is not self-sufficiency; it is dependence on God. It is not suppressing pain; it is allowing God to heal it. It is not just surviving; it is thriving in the knowledge that our suffering is not wasted.

How to Heal in a Way That Honors God

Healing is both a process and a promise. And while God can work instant miracles, He often walks with us through healing, teaching us how to lean on Him. Here are some ways to heal in a way that truly leads to freedom:

1. Acknowledge Your Pain, But Don’t Dwell There

   • “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” – Psalm 147:3

   • Honesty with ourselves and God is the first step. Ignoring trauma won’t make it disappear, but we must be careful not to build a home in our pain.

2. Rewire Your Mind Through Scripture

   • “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” – Romans 12:2

   • Trauma wires us to expect danger, disappointment, and loss. But God calls us to renew our minds in His truth. Healing means allowing Him to rewrite our internal narratives.

3. Seek True Community, Not Just Trauma Bonds

   • “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” – Proverbs 27:17

   • Support is crucial, but be mindful of communities that only reinforce victimhood. Surround yourself with people who encourage healing, not just venting.

4. Pray and Ask God to Reveal Any Callouses You’ve Built

   • “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.” – Ezekiel 36:26

   • Ask God to show you where you have hardened. Have you become cynical? Bitter? Are you avoiding deep relationships because of past hurt? Healing means softening, not just toughening up.

5. Allow God to Use Your Story for Good

   • “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” – Genesis 50:20

   • What happened to you was not good, but God can use it for good. Your healing can become someone else’s hope. When we surrender our pain to God, He weaves it into something beautiful.

   
   

The Beauty of God’s Restoration

Yes, trauma changes us. But God’s healing changes us even more. Where the world sees brokenness, He sees potential for restoration. Where the enemy tries to keep us in darkness, God brings light. Where victimhood says, You will always be like this, God says, I am making all things new.

Friend, you are not your trauma. You are not what happened to you. You are not beyond healing. You are loved by a God who specializes in taking the most shattered pieces and turning them into something breathtaking. If you are weary, if you are hurting, if you feel like your story is nothing but suffering—know this: there is hope, there is healing, and there is wholeness in Christ. And you don’t have to walk this road alone.

I dig into some of this, specifically the victimhood cycle in my Entering Your Healing Era course, because I believe dealing with these things is a crucial piece to living a healed life.

If you’re ready to step into a season of healing, I invite you to join me in the Healing Era Starter Kit and Course—a space where we walk through the layers of healing, not just physically, but emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Hundreds of women have joined and found incredible breakthroughs, and I would love for you to be part of this journey too.

Your pain does not define you. But God’s restoration can. Let Him do what only He can do. Healing is real. And it’s for you too.